I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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