okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
