I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
