just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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