Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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