my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
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