Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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