I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
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I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
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Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...