Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(631): View more from New York

peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york

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(917): View more from New York City

and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.

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(408): View more from California

Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?

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21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
Read it at the TFLN blog
(904): View more from Florida

he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?

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(519): View more from Ontario

And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.

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(520): View more from Arizona

That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.

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(631): View more from New York

You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"

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