Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
21 NSFW Facts About Famous Celebrities That Will Blow Your Mind
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
These Are 19 of the Most Horrible Strangers People Had to Sit Next to
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Randomize
