So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.