hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
