peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
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he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
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After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"