i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
