oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize