im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
