Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
