i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
