Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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