I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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