i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
