It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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