great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
