STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
why do cheetos always look like penises
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Randomize
