He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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