covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
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He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
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Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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