i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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