i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I just threw up on my dentist
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
