so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Randomize
