she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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