you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
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