Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Randomize
