We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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