I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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