some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
