The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
