You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
