Me. At least after what I've been through.
well I can't set my house on fire every night
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this hospital has no fireball
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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