Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Randomize
