I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Randomize
