I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize