I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
