Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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