You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
