is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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