Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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