I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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