guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize