Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
