i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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