Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
