It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Randomize
