bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
