you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Randomize
