there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
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