My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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