ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
