I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Girls should come with a carfax report
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
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