how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
