I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
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