ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
