He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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