how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
