Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
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Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
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I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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