i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
My dad is sitting where you rode me
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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