Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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