Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize