Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
