So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
As shirtless as possible
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
