Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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