we made out on top of his cat.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
