she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
